Instead of BS

Rather than waxing philosophical, why don't we just wax philosphy?

Existential candles, anyone?

Why I Should Be President

"Money doesn't grow on trees," the ancient proverb declares.

But if leaves were money, then money would grow on trees. And we'd all be rich. And people would rake their yards a lot more frequently.

Or what if old men were currency? I certainly see a lot of old men ambling about. Why not put them to good use? If old men were currency, right now I'd spend my neighbors on a chocolate bar. And someday when I'm old, someone could spend me on a Ferrari or something else of equal or greater value.

All this just goes to show that if our government was as smart as me, the economy would be booming.

Disillusioned

Why did that one little piggy have to eat roast beef? That poor cow! Devoured by my toe! Sometimes remembering my childhood can be so disillusioning.